By: Kristen Kelley
Psalm 30:5, 11-12 “. . . weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning . . . Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness . . . O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.”
James 5:11 “Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.”
In the months following our loss of Joshua, we saw God do such amazing, wonderful things. I want to share with you my personal reminiscing, on that one-year anniversary of his delivery. I pray it will bring you HOPE – HOPE that there is more to your life than the painful tears of today... That there IS a new tomorrow on your horizon, just as there was on mine... Just as I believe there will be for me again . . .
Today, I pull out the comforting purple blanket from the hospital, and I pray, thanking God for all He has brought us through. We talk at breakfast about what this last year in Heaven might have been like for Joshua. I look through the photos and the memory box. I remember the loving midwife, the nurses, our family, and our friends. I recall those who told us they were praying for us; those who wrote us messages and sent us cards; those who washed our dishes, and brought over taco salad, or dinosaur chicken nuggets for our girls; those who reached out to us with precious remembrance gifts like wind chimes and necklaces . . . I praise God for His Word, and for the great hymns of others who found the comfort of the Lord in great sorrow. I thank God for His loving care - that He “is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works.” (Ps. 145:9) Today, I think back over this past year, and I say, “Look, with me, at what God alone could have done . . .”
That year was one of the most incredible I’d ever known. With my heart, I felt the grief and pain of sorrow, but I also knew the peace, the comfort, and the healing of my God. With my eyes, I saw the waves of Lake Erie, the mountains of West Virginia, and the rice paddies of Indonesia. I smelled the aromas of Asian spices and experienced the flavors of other parts of the world. I stood at the mouth of a volcano, rode on a motorbike, and watched two of my girls place their trust in Jesus Christ. As I clung to the Savior, my mind was filled with Bible verses, with missions lessons, and with research about parts of the world I’d never seen before. My hands planted wildflowers in a little memorial garden, built sandcastles with my girls, and packed and unpacked suitcases, dozens of times. I had opportunities to sing God’s praise, to encourage women, and to share with children, as we presented missions work in numerous churches across the Eastern United States. BLESSED in ways I never could have imagined, I saw my Lord at work, everywhere around me. God had given me LIFE, and I truly began to appreciate the significance of that gift, in a way I never had before.
How I pray, that in the days to come, you’ll look to see God’s hand in your own life, too, Dear One! There is no level of darkness that the light of God cannot touch. To Him, “the night shineth as the day.” (Psalm 139:12) Through every tear, He is right there, beside you. Through every joy, His heart rejoices too.
Amid the smiles and the tears of life, may we pray with the Psalmist David, “I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.” (Psalm 18:1) I WILL . . . I will love You, secure in the knowledge that nothing can take away Your own love for me. I will trust You, even when I do not understand. I will thank You, knowing that my baby is safe in the arms of Jesus. I will find hope in You – hope for this hour, this day; hope for the future ahead of me; hope for all eternity. And even in the “valley of the shadow of death”, I will GLORIFY Your Name. Psalm 96:2 “Sing unto the LORD, bless his name; shew forth his salvation from day to day.”
Ten years – a whole decade – before our first miscarriage, I penned a poem I entitled “Unknown Trials”. We don’t know how much sorrow or joy will be in the steps that God has for our lives, but if we are His children, then we know that we can trust Him with our path. We are put here on this earth for just one purpose – to glorify our Father in Heaven. Even in our loss, we can bring God glory - If we comfort others with “the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted” . . . If we point others to the cross . . . If we let beauty rise from ashes . . . If in our sorrow, we offer Him our praise . . .
